First impressions of working in Ancaar centre

Anxiety.

This is what I felt before crossing the threshold of Ancaar center.

It is a special place in Craiova, Dolj County, an oasis in a Country, Romania, in which the issue of autism is generally still seen as something mysterious and distant.

It was created by the parents of the autistic children and adults that are currently in the centre, and aims to offer a shelter in which people can develop some of the skills that would help them integrate in the society, outside its protected walls, through therapies and a series of activities such as sport, cooking, cleaning and more, but also to spread knowledge about autism and the importance of an early diagnosis.

Even if I felt a little prepared before coming here, the little experience that I had (during an internship in a primary school in Rome one of our children was autistic) and the books that I studied were not enough to prepare me for this experience, since every person with autism is different.

As every first time in the life of each of us, it was a bit frightening.

The thing that scared me the most was the thought of being inadequate for my task, unprepared for the situations I would face.

Being a very shy and insecure person, I often search for confirmation from others, a smile or a gesture that makes me understand everything is fine.

When relating with ASD people, you just can’t have this kind of communication, and the situation it’s worsened by the fact that my knowledge of Romanian is very limited.

Before our first time in Ancaar, our coordinator surprised me saying that we could talk to them in our respective languages, but this initially didn’t reassured me at all.

My fears were still many, whispering to me that I would fail and be just useless for the guys in the centre, that the activities I would prepare would all be wrong for them.

After the first meeting in the centre I felt better.

In my mind it was no more an unknown, alien place, but a nice and warm environment.

We met the staff and some of the ASD guys who attend the centre, and little by little I felt that the knot I felt in my stomach started loosening.

Getting to know them, their character and peculiarities, helped me to understand.

Like the pieces of a puzzle, everything began to find its place: in front of me there was no more the dark of mystery, but a new reality, with its lights and shadows.

It was a world in which the word perfection had no reason to be, and nobody was expecting from me to be the perfect volunteer, but just to do my best.

After each new activity, I found out that, notwithstanding all the difficulties I had, I was actually enjoying the time we spent together.

Fear disappeared, leaving space for new feelings : the joy for a shared laugh, the surprise of achieving a small task, the awareness and the will to learn more and more every day.

Finally, I understood : in this world, words are not so important to communicate.

ASD people are often not comfortable with them, since one of the problems related to this kind of disorders is the difficulty in the language development and communication in general : for example, as I noticed in the centre, they can repeat words they remember without giving them a true meaning (echolalia).

Still, I learned that we can overcome this barrier, working together day by day and step by step, and that there’s not just one way to do something.

Someone needs more time to achieve a task, or learn new skills, some others just won’t learn this or that, and that applies to everyone of us, with or without ASD.

Despite that, we live in a society that creates for us standards and goals we have to reach in order to be valued as people: you have to graduate in a certain numbers of years and with a certain mark, for instance, or find a well paid job to be considered successful.

But that is not the real life, to me.

The real life is the one I found in Ancaar centre, is the one you can’t just hide in a corner, as dust under a carpet.

Is a life made of people with different, special needs, and of people who fight day by day to assure them integration in a society that often choose to be blind in front of these issues.

Is a life in which is not important to be the best, but to do your best, taking your time, in which every single step is meaningful, and things that could seem basic and easy are not so obvious.

To those who would like to be volunteers, but still feel unsure about working with ASD people, I’d like to say : don’t let fears and prejudice overcome you.

I won’t say you it’s an easy task, because is not.

You’ll need to be patient, you won’t have immediate rewards and you will have huge communication problems.

You will need time.

But in the end, a small door will open inside you, and it won’t close again, never.

You will came here and having the impression of just be giving something, but the truth is that in the end you’ll receive something too, and very precious, something that will change you for the better.

I’ve been working in Ancaar just for two months, and a lot of work still awaits me and my teammates, but I’m eager to keep working there: I feel that together we can do it, with acceptance, respect and support.