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That is what I have learned during this experience, saying no, I don´t want this/that in my life. I have learned not to exceed my limits and make decisions that make me feel good. I think this time in Romania has been enough to see what I want in this moment of my life.
Right now I feel that I have a handful of conflicted emotions. I will start with the good ones. What has made me happiest has been that I have had time and conscience to take care of myself. I've been to the gym where I have had very funny moments and I practiced Romanian and also Spanish, yes, “thanks to telenovelas”. I've spent more time preparing food and I have also worked my mind. I unlocked my mind! I have meditated and I have thought a lot of myself. I traveled alone or “with myself” and that made me feel really free. Free to decide what I want to see, where I want to go ... I have set my own pace. Besides, I have never felt alone, since I have found wonderful people during the journey. I'm glad because that means I've been able to communicate in English. Because of that, now I feel very good about myself and I have been able to make important decisions about my life.
During this period, I have also shared my time with different people. I have known different cultures; ways of being in the world, ways of thinking ... it has been very enriching for me. But at the same time, I have not felt in the same vital moment of the people around me. It is neither better nor worse, only, different. I have not felt the people involved with social change neither with a critical conscience nor with initiative (with some exceptions).
I would like to give an advice to future volunteers. I do not know what the reasons are for people to decide to volunteer, but I just want to contribute with some reflection questions from my experience.
What means to be a volunteer?
What do you want to be a volunteer for?
In which way do you think volunteering can contribute to your life?
On the other hand, I have spent and dedicated time to one of my greatest passions, the world of functional diversity. I have shared wonderful times with people with autism that I have worked with. This has made me realize all the work that remains to be done in this field, and above all in Romania. ANCAAR is the name of the association where I worked and I don´t want to finish my time here without telling something about this place. I think the people who are part of ANCAAR do a great job day after day and I would like to thank them for having let me be part of that social transformation. Sometimes it is not necessary to speak the same language, since a look, a gesture, may be enough to understand each other. And that for me has been magical, to be able to connect with people that way.
Romania has surprised me for good and bad. In general I have met nice people but I have also experienced cases of discrimination, because I am a woman, because I am a foreigner, and because I am against heteronormativity. It has been hard, but it has made me stronger. And of course I have influenced in all cases, I have not kept silent.
I have also met very nice people during this time, sure. For example, doing hitchhiking, or with the blablacar I have felt that people are very generous. I have learned a lot about the history of Romania with the conversations and I have had very interesting debates with people who have shared trips. Sometimes I have been lucky enough to be able to communicate in Spanish with the Romanian people, and that has been good for my "integration".
Then, I want to keep the good memories, moments, experiences: the laughter, the good energy of the people who really believe and work in the social transformation, the personal learning, personal growth, the long hours in the kitchen creating new vegetarian recipes, the conversations in English (thanks Chiara), trips that open eyes and of course, classes in the gym with Cristi (thanks for teaching me how to do crunches!).
And in one way or another, the people that I have met have given me something and I want to write the first word that comes to my mind when I hear that name, or something that I will remember about them. Chiara: patience, Mariela: freedom, Gulistan: hugs, Dani: ping pong times, Duygu: smile, Kate: calm, Batool: memory collector, Bachir: happiness, Catalina: closeness, Roxy: help, Taco and Irina: trust, Sara, Alexandra and Catarina: naturalness, Luminita: powerfulness, Luiza: inspiration, Madalina: innovative, Cristi: energy.
Finally, I want to add that this experience has transformed me both outside and inside. The “box” of my life becomes more complete. And thanks to that I know at what point in my life I am and I have learned to value my freedom. I like my freedom, I do.
